Timely Program Ideas

Timely Program Ideas
Department of Congregational Programming
United Synagogue of Conservative Judaism
155 Fifth Avenue,
New York, NY 10010
212-533-7800 ext 2620

TPI 3: The Family Bar/Bat Mitzvah

A Bar/Bat Mitzvah is one of the most meaningful events in the life of a Jew. It is a "Threshold Experience." The young Jew has completed one part of his or her Jewish life and is about to pass a threshold to another -- to become an adult in the Jewish community.

There are many wonderful opportunities that come with this change. They have been fortunate to learn of our traditions, values, and beliefs. These are the beautiful gifts of our heritage, it is up to us to help them make the most of them.

Bar/Bat Mitzvah is an important time, not only for the youngster, but for the entire family. Everyone can become involved in this pivotal event. As a Bar/Bat Mitzvah, the youngster assumes full rights and responsibilities within the Jewish community. Accepting these new duties, the youngster, along with his/her family, now has the ability to be a real asset and contribution to the Jewish people as a whole.

Many synagogues have developed innovative programs that allow for interaction and joint learning between the parents and the Bar/Bat Mitzvah student. These programs allow for both parent and child to gain a better understanding of the religious significance of the Bar/Bat Mitzvah.

Many programs also encourage families to participate in social action projects within the community. All of these programs promote the concept of study and observance as a family obligation, and make Bar/Bat Mitzvah a significant stage, not merely in a young person's life, but in the life of an entire family.

The B'nei Mitzvah Curriculum

The Conservative Synagogue, Westport, CT developed a program, called the B'nei Mitzvah Curriculum, to explore specific customs and rituals in preparation for Bar/Bat Mitzvah with sixth graders and their parents.

Students and parents are invited to attend a half hour class once a month during which the Rabbi and the sixth grade teacher present information on:

• Meaning of the Bar/Bat Mitzvah
• Kriyat Hatorah, Aliyah, and Haftorah
• The wearing of a Kippah
• Siddur
• Talit
• Synagogue objects
• Tefillin

Each lesson contains factual material, a discussion and sharing opportunity, and questions or projects to be completed at home by the student and parents. The completed units a re bound together to create a long-term resource for future reference.

Example of sample exercise:

Pretend that you are the Rabbi leading the service where one of your students is becoming a Bar/Bat Mitzvah. You are expected to say something to him/her, something meaningful about b’nei mitzvah and the new stage of life the young person is about to enter. In the space that follows, write down what you would say. Use the information above and the class discussion to compose your thoughts.

A number of sources were used to attain the information needed for the factual presentations. The Encyclopedia of Jewish Symbols and The Jewish Book of Why were two texts that were found to be very useful. Your Rabbi and your synagogue library may also have resources which can be helpful in the development and implementation of this program. Copies of the workshop activities are available from the Circulating Library of The United Synagogue.

The Vav Family Program

North Suburban Synagogue Beth El established a Vav family program which meets on Sunday mornings during the year prior to the Bar/Bat Mitzvah. This program unites parents and students in recognizing the importance of Jewish education as a family event.During the morning, students and parents are participants in a weekday worship service, a social/conversation/snack hour, and a rotation of three classes covering topics dealing with: 1) The Shoah, 2) Israel, and 3) The Jewish Life Cycle.

In addition Sunday mornings are geared to provide important family time to be used for preparation of the Bar/Bat Mitzvah, which is seen as a family life cycle event.

Another component of the Vav Family Program deals with the concept of milzvah. Special focus is paid to the mitzvah of tefillin. The Rabbi explains the mitzvah, and describes and demonstrates the proper procedure for putting on Tefillin. All of the parents and students (men and women), are encouraged to participate. A video was created during the 1992-1993 school year explaining the meaning of tefillin and demonstrating the "laying" of tefillin.

Social Action is also incorporated into the program. This enables families to understand the significance of tzedakah, and in particular, for them to experience together the importance of helping other members of the Jewish and general communities.

One project consisted of families delivering Shabbat-welcome baskets to newly arrived Jews from the former Soviet Union. Each family was given two baskets and asked to deliver them to assigned individuals. The contents of the baskets have included:

• Shabbat candles
• Candlesticks
• Wine for kiddish
• Necessary prayers
• Items related to Hanukah

Why Be Jewish?

A booklet, published by The United Synagogue of Conservative Judaism, by Rabbi Alan Silverstein, entitled "Why Be Jewish" examines how we can create personal excitement, joy, pride and the commitment to being Jewish. The booklet is aimed towards teens and adults. It can help teens and their families to find meaning in Judaism, and to understand that Judaism has a great deal to offer both on the personal and communal level.

A study guide for family education, outlining program ideas and suggestions for family discussion sessions, is also available. Both can be valuable as tools to focus pre-Bar/Bat Mitzvah family-education. They are available from the Book Service of The United Synagogue of Conservative Judaism.

Implementation:

Bar/Bat Mitzvah time is a period when families are "captured" by the excitement surrounding the event. It is an ideal time to strengthen and enhance the whole family's commitment and to educate parents as well as students.

Congregations are encouraged to devise a plan for promoting and marketing their family education program. An effective strategy includes a combination of written, telephone, and personal “out reach" components.

Written material can bepublished in the congregation's bulletin and handed out throughout the Hebrew School. Posters can be displayed on synagogue and school bulletin boards.

Personal contact still remains the most effective means of encouraging families to participate. It is important to recognize that many families can be more responsive when they are invited by their peers rather than by synagogue professionals. The prospect of attending is less daunting when they know there are other families like theirs who have enjoyed and benefited from these programs.

For others, a personal invitation from one of the professionals (the rabbi, educational director, teacher, family educator) may be more motivating. It is therefore best to do both! It is also important to remember that family schedules are very complicated and hectic. Therefore, families need as much advance notice as possible to incorporate the program into their schedule.

Suggestions to enable families to easily participate in the program include:

• Schedule your entire year in advance and book it on the congregation's master calendar.
• Produce an attractive brochure to be distributed at the beginning of the year to explain the program and draw attention to special highlights.
• If you plan a regular series of events, try to schedule them on a regular time slot (e.g. every first Sunday of each month).

In the specific case of social action projects, congrega6ons should identify possible assignments within the community. Insure that the projects are appropriate for teens and check with the agencies to make certain they welcome student volunteers.