Online Child Safety
When Mike and Jenny (not their real names) found their 12-year-old daughter curled up on her bed crying, they were shocked at the cause. The seemingly popular youngster was a victim of cyber bullying, a particularly cruel internet phenomenon that is working its way down to lower and lower grade levels.
In fact, Parry Aftab, a lawyer specializing in Internet privacy and security law and founder of Wiredsafety.org (www.wiredsafety.org), has found that cyber bullying can start as early as third or fourth grade. “It’s the biggest issue that we see with the younger kids,” she said.
Welcome to the new online world. If your children are not already computer literate, they soon will be. Just as you teach them how to cross the street safely and not to speak to strangers, it’s your job to teach them how to be safe online. “The ideal time to start them is when they first learn to maneuver a mouse,” says Marsali Hancock, head of iKeepsafe (www.ikeepsafe.org), a project of the Internet Keep Safe Coalition, a public-private partnership that encompasses law enforcement, several state governors and their spouses, and crime prevention organizations, as well as foundations and corporate sponsors.
In cyber bullying, youngsters post or circulate via email, social networking websites and IM (instant messaging) cruel and often false and embarrassing stories about their peers. As with anything else on the internet, these things can take on a life of their own, spreading far beyond the children’s immediate circle, so that within a short time it seems that the entire school, camp or even an outside group will know about it. They are difficult to counter and can be devastating.
A study by iSafe.org found that 42 percent of children report having been bullied while online. One in four says that it has happened more than once. Even more disturbing, 53 percent admit having said something mean or hurtful to another person online.
Using basic Jewish tenets, parents can teach their children not only to be safe, but to respect others online. We are admonished from speaking lashon ha'ra (malicious gossip), which is the very nature of cyber bullying. Rabbi Nina Mizrahi, director of the Pritzker Center for Jewish Education at the Jewish Community Centers (JCC) of Chicago (www.jccofchicago.org), recommends reading Yussel’s Prayer by Barbara Cohen, with your children. Discussing proper behavior online is a “good way to bring Jewish values to life,” she says.
As Mike and Jenny learned, it’s vital to keep open communication with your children. “We talked with her and we listened to her,” Mike said.
Rabbi Mizrahi’s colleague, Sheryl Katz, director of social services for the JCC of Chicago’s early childhood program, notes that popularity in the 6- to 10-year-old age group is based on shared interests, so you cannot deny your children access to popular culture experiences, such as computers or the internet, but you can guide them and be aware of what they are doing online. “You can tell them that in our home we believe in living by and treating each other with these Jewish values,” she says.
Fighting Cyber Bullying – Resources for Parents and Children
To combat this dangerous trend that is threatening our children, a number of websites have sprung up to provide help and advice for parents and children, including teaching games for even the youngest tots. Among the best:
Wiresafety.org uses second, third and fourth graders to help them design age appropriate “netiquette” (online etiquette) lessons and games, to help insure that children will respond to the material.
Ronna Weinstick, a Jewish educator from the Jewish Community Centers of Chicago’s Pritzker Center for Jewish Education compiled a list of books about lashon ha'ra (malicious gossip), which are appropriate to share with young children:
- The Honest to Goodness Truth, by Patricia McKissack
- Yettele’s Feathers, by Joan Rothberg
- Gittel’s Hands, by Erica Silverman
Meta L. Levin is a freelance writer and editor.
