Making the New Year Sweet (Or - Rosh Hashanah Is More Than Just Apples and Honey)

Every Rosh Hashanah, we gather around the holiday table and dip apples in honey, asking God to "renew this year for us, that it may be a good and sweet year." The ceremony itself is sweet (and delicious). But apples and honey alone cannot ensure that the New Year will be appreciably better, or sweeter, than the one before. It is up to each one of us to do that for ourselves.

What can we do? We can identify those aspects of our lives that need improvement or that presently do not fulfill our spiritual needs; we can reorder our priorities, putting the really important things first; and we can make a conscious decision to act upon what we've found.

The following may help focus our attention on the kinds of issues we need to address:

1. Performing holiday rituals is not simply for children. In some homes, holiday celebrations become a forum for children to demonstrate what they have learned in afternoon or day school -- as the adults sit back and watch. While it is very important to sustain our children's enthusiasm and give them positive feedback, if we don't demonstrate our own involvement as well, their participation may well take on the nature of a performance, rather than a "sharing" in the religious life of the family. This approach brings an added bonus: Performing a ritual is not just role-modeling, it's fun!
   
   This year, let's recite the berakhah over the apples and honey together. After tasting the apple dipped in honey, recite "Y'hi ratzon...":
   
   
2. A new beginning. As we light the candles on both nights of Rosh Hashanah, we recite the Sheheheyanu prayer. There is an excitement inherent in newness and in beginnings, and what better day to acknowledge this than on the birthday of the world! Some people make the second night as "new" as the first by eating a new fruit at the holiday meal or by wearing a new item of clothing. Another way to enhance this experience even more might be to create special blessings for one another, customizing each one to reflect a special wish for a family member or friend.
   
   For example, we may say to the young man or woman who is just beginning college: May this year be one of growth -- of mind, body, and spirit. May you take advantage of all the wonderful opportunities presented to you as you enter this new stage in your life, and may you continue to be guided by the values you have learned throughout your life.
   
   
3. A chance to put things right. Not only does Rosh Hashanah put us in mind of our errors during the past year, it also gives us a chance to discard them. The ceremony of tashlikh, in which we symbolically "cast" our sins into a body of water (traditionally, on the first day of the holiday; but on the second if the first is Shabbat), provides a wonderful opportunity for families and friends to enjoy a leisurely stroll to the closest stream of running water, perhaps -- on the way -- discussing with one another those habits or traits they most wish to discard and those they would most like to adopt in the coming year.
   
   Preparing little packets of bread crumbs to toss into the water can be an enjoyable activity for youngsters. (Be sure to save some of your hallah for this.) The USCJ booklet "Tashlikh: Casting Your Sins Away" is a helpful resource, containing traditional and innovative readings as well as family activities to enhance this ceremony.
   
   
4. A time to build relationships. Each year, our lives seems to grow increasingly hectic. We juggle jobs, families, and community activities. Some of us must also deal with additional problems, such as illness. In the face of this "craziness," one of the first things to suffer is extended family relations. We lose touch with aunts, uncles, cousins, and even parents and grandparents. Rosh Hashanah is a time to consciously reverse that trend, planning holiday meals that will serve as many as possible; sending cards (or e-mail messages or making phone calls) to all those with whom we have lost touch; spending time in the synagogue reflecting on the importance of family relationships; and modeling for our own children and grandchildren the kind of caring behavior we hope they will demonstrate in their own lives.
   
   One idea is to send a "family letter" to those you will be unable to see during the holiday. You might also make a videotape inadvance of the holiday sending greetings from your family or capturing a joyous holiday activity, such as cooking or singing holiday songs.
   
   
5. Having fun, learning lessons. Besides apples and honey, there are other foods we may want to have at our holiday table. Other special foods (mentioned in the Talmud, Shulhan Arukh and other sources) include leeks or cabbage, beets, fenugreek or carrots, dates, gourds, pomegranates, fish, and the head of a sheep or fish. In many cases, the names of the foods (in Hebrew, of course) are used in some kind of word play or metaphor. For example, in eating a pomegranate, we pray that our merits will increase as [the seeds of] a pomegranate.
   
   It might be fun to select special foods for your holiday table and create "lessons" based on the Hebrew or English words used to name them. If we choose dates, for example, we can commit ourselves to choosing a specific date on which to visit a sick relative, or resolve during the coming month to spend several days volunteering at a local shelter.