Let There Be Light – Investigating Identity in Israel
Leaving in question – Letzet be’sheala – is the phrase used to describe Jews who leave their Orthodox or even more often ultra- Orthodox communities. It’s an inherently negative phrase that implies failure.
On the other hand, lachzor b’tshuva – returning in answer – which is applied to Jews who become observant, is positive.
Despite the difficulties involved in making such a life-altering decision, increasing numbers of Israeli Jews are leaving their communities, their ways of life, and often even their families because their beliefs have changed radically and they feel they must take that draconian step.
As Conservative Jews know, Jewish identity cannot be defined easily or dogmatically. It’s a fluid, constantly changing issue. But the yotzei be’sheala – the ultra- Orthodox Jews who leave that world – give us a rare opportunity to analyze Jewish identity from an unusual vantage point. They can tell us why they have left the lives they knew, what they took with them from those lives, what they chose to leave behind, and what they had to leave behind. They can tell us how they see themselves now, and how in retrospect they see and understand their old communities. And, perhaps most importantly, they can tell us if they have created or found themselves in a new Jewish community, and if they have forged new Jewish identities for themselves.
Recently, Tarbut, the cultural program at the United Synagogue of Conservative Judaism’s Fuchsberg Jerusalem Center, devoted an evening to the question. First, the audience, about 180 strong, watched a film, Let There Be Light, which opened at this year’s Jerusalem Film Festival. The somewhat autobiographical movie, directed by Meni Phillip, stars Mr. Phillip as one of 10 siblings, a haredi pop star who like five of his brothers left the Orthodox world. The movie shows the siblings’ desire to stay connected to their community even as their beliefs change, and it shows as well their frustrations as the community reacts to them. The siblings retain their feelings for Judaism and their identities as Jews even as they try to figure out some way to mix tradition, secular culture, and their own understanding of the world.
After the film ended, a panel that included Mr. Phillip; Yehudit Rotem, an Israeli writer who was born into an ultra- Orthodox family and left that world only after decades; and Yakir Englander, who is working toward a doctorate in Jewish philosophy at Hebrew University and is an associate at the Sholom Hartman Institute. Rabbi Tamar Elad Applebaum, who chaired the discussion, added insights from the Talmud and other Jewish sources.
During the discussion, Mr. Englander said that he values much of what he learned as a child – he brings “the values and joy of growing up in a hasidic family” into his new life. The life he leads now, as an academic, springs from the hasidic love of learning, and many of the skills he uses now he learned in his other life.
A lively question-and-answer period centered around Jewish identity. When Ms. Rotem was asked if she misses anything from her old life, she replied, “What do I have to miss? An unsupportive husband? Having to travel on public transport 9 months pregnant? Shabbat meals? I had to cook them all. I don’t miss anything. Everything I loved, I took with me.” She said that Judaism is universal and she feels more Jewish now than she did then. Mr. Phillip said he felt truly himself only when he left the community – until then he felt as if he were living a lie. He said, though, that he missed the importance of the family and does not know how he would bring up children in a secular world that does not seem to respect or value it. By the evening’s end, two people had gone to a representative of Hillel, a support group for yotzei be’sheala, to ask for help on the next steps of their own journeys out of the ultra-Orthodox world.
Tarbut hosted the program together with Maron, the Masorti group for young adults, and Hillel. Not only was it a success for Fuchsberg and the two other groups, but it also made clear and made public the Conservative/ Masorti stance on yotzei b’sheala. By hosting the program, the Conservative movement in Israel sees them simply as fellow Jews. The Conservative movement creates room for difference, understanding that we all are strengthened through diversity.
Anat Infeld-Goodman is the director of cultural activities at the United Synagogue of Conservative Judaism's Fuchsberg Jerusalem Center.
