"A Blessing On Your Head..."

Ever since God told Abraham that all the families of the earth would be blessed through him, we have been aware of the importance of blessing as a quintessentially Jewish act. Through b'rakhot, we acknowledge God's kindness and generosity and recognize the presence of miracles in our daily lives. Also through b'rakhot, we convey our warmest hopes and aspirations for the people around us.

When we bless our children on Shabbat, we take advantage of a very special opportunity. Not only do we draw our children closer to ourselves, both physically and spiritually, but we pass on the priestly blessings generally recited only by the kohanim - and even then, only on certain occasions in the presence of a minyan. Thus, through the vehicle of prayer, we "borrow" some of the majesty of the ancient Temple service and enhance both the home and the family.

Behavioral Blessings

A parent may also bless a child by serving as a proper role model and by transacting the kind of "business" on Shabbat that is sanctioned by the Babylonian Talmud (Shabbat 150a):

It is permissable to make plans for good deeds on the Sabbath... One may transact "business" which has to do with the saving of life or with public health on Sabbath, and one may go to synagogue to discuss public affairs on Sabbath...

Teaching our children firsthand about the kedushah (holiness) of the day by inviting others to share our meal and by placing money in a tzedakah box immediately prior to lighting candles ensures that our children are exposed to the many ways in which we can share ourselves with others.

A Blessing on Their Heads

(The following section is adapted from "Shabbat Shalom: Young Children and Their Parents Celebrating Together on Friday Night" by Lyndall Miller, a publication of the USCJ Commission on Jewish Education.)

The traditional blessings ask God to make the child like the people we hear about in our Torah: Sarah, Rivkah, Rachel, and Leah, and Yosef's sons Ephraim and Menasheh. You may remind your child about these people before giving the blessing, and tell your child that you are also wishing for him or her all kinds of wonderful things. If you hear the question, "Like what?", you may answer that you are wishing that they always feel good about themselves and have what they really need, like food and clothes. You may also say that you are wishing that they can always feel that God is close to them.

Place your hands on your child(rens)'s head(s) for the blessings.

For girls:

Y'simeikh Elohim k'Sarah, Rivkah, Rahel v'Leah.

May God make you like Sarah, Rebecca, Rachel, and Leah.

For boys:

Y'simkhah Elohim k'Efraim v'khi Menasheh.

May God make you like Ephraim and Menasheh.

After each of these blessings is said, the following is added (for girls or boys):

Y'varekh'kha Adonai v'yishmerekha. Ya'er Adonai panav eilekha vi'huneka. Yisa Adonai panev eilekha v'yasem l'kha shalom.

May the Lord bless you and guard you. May the Lord show you favor and be gracious to you. May the Lord show you kindness and grant you peace.

Blessings for the Parents

Young children tend to see their parents as all-powerful, all-knowing and never tiring. Because of their lack of experience and awareness, they may not see just how much goes into their daily care. Traditionally, the Shabbat ritual at this point includes a recognition of the tremendous effort and meticulous attention which the woman of the house gives to her family. The selection "Eishet Hayil" from Proverbs (which can be found in many siddurim) may be read or sung by the husband. "Ashrei Ha'ish" (Psalm 112), in praise of the husband, is now being added by some families.

An alternative is for each person at the table to take a moment to say "thank you" to other members of the family for something that he or she has done that week. This brings everyone's efforts into focus, and helps us feel reassured that we are part of a loving, supportive team. Shabbat is a time to see just how blessed we are to have each other.

It is also possible to recite a Family Blessing:

HaRahaman Hu y'vareikh otanu kulanu yahad b'virkat shalom.

(May) the Merciful One bless all of us together with the blessing of peace.